Scott Robinson (quadhome) wrote,
Scott Robinson

Keeping a promise, and an obligatory post.

I watched the third/sixth and final (?) Star Wars this afternoon. But before I write about that, I have something special for the ladies. The theory of make-up versus intelligence as proposed by the Shadowpimps Board of Theory.

Attractiveness in a female is a multi-faceted property. The perfect woman would be insert effectively random and meaningless list of attributes here that won’t piss off my female friends.1 However, in terms of first impression ranking we’re limiting ourselves to two factors: beauty and intelligence. Beauty is a strongly subjective measurement. The use of multiple measurement systems is indicative of the nascent state of the science of beauty.2 Intelligence is, anecdotally, a less subjective measurement than beauty; but, it is a more amorphous value. Typically, it’s measured in a boolean system.3 Our judgement of beauty and intelligence are circumstantially weighted4 and averaged to result in attractiveness5.

With this background and experience in place, we can begin to explore the more interesting minutia of first impression ranking. The theory is developed from an ongoing project researching the heuristics used to reduce human capital investment6 in ascertaining a rank. Specifically, before ever conversing with a female, a ranking of their intelligence is formed and used in decision making processes. As the only other recognized factor which could have been used is appearance, we examined our logical pathways.

We discovered evidence indicating a bell curve relation between the amount of make-up a woman wears and their early ranked intelligence. A illuminative explanation is on one side of the curve are women too stupid to wear make-up, in the middle are women of average intelligence and caked with foundation, and at the opposite side are women too smart to interact with men and who wear no make-up.

The correlation coefficient between the heuristic ranking and post-conversation ranking has yet to be explored.7

[1] Tool. [2] The 1-10 scale, the grade point scale, the crack in the door scale, etc. [3] Smart or dumb. [4] Horny or not? [5] Marry, date, fuck, friends, or ignore. [6] Don’t talk and waste time with stupid or ugly girls. [7] Escape clause.

It took George Lucas six movies to make a Star Wars that sucked less than Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. For a reward, here are a few billion more unmarked dollar bills.

Tags: humour
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