December 6th, 2004


I'm cold and in pain. Would it be life any other way?

We (samfu, kung_fu_mike, and I) went sledding last night. But, contrary to popular methodologies, we did not feel the compunction to purchase or otherwise obtain a set of sleds. You see, samfu and I have a nightly tradition of blasely engaging in unlawful activities. Moreover, we also have a bi-annual tradition of launching ourselves down dangerously inclined and snow covered slopes upon the unsafe backs of waste storage receptacle containment hatches.

Sledding on dumpster lids is great fun for the whole family. There are four important steps in the process:

  1. Locate a safe location for procurement.
  2. Obtain dumpster lids.
  3. Give them “fly” names.
  4. Attempt to prevent death while travelling at high speeds.

Step ONE went off with less of a hitch than ever. In normal scenarios, a modicum of preparation must be performed before ones hopes of “procurement” can be anything but ready to be dashed. Unfortunately, we’re affected with two maladies (poverty and laziness) and found ourselves prevented from going through any motion but out the door and laughing. En route to the previously determined inclined slope, I spotted the first dumpster of the evening...

Step TWO was also efficiently implemented. An approach was quickly engaged, the operation stealthily performed, and surprisingly we came away from the locale +2 small dumpster lids! If any of the viewers at home believe they will successfully steal dumpster lids their first time and without the oft requisite tool-set (hack saw/bolt cutter, black clothing, car), keep solidly fixed in your mind we’re experienced professionals. We were also lucky doggs.

Step THREE is an iterative phase involving creativity, community input, and a few runs down the slope in order to determine the temperament of your ill gotten mount. The results of our work, in this regard, can be found in the photo gallery. The etymology of the titles are almost certainly of an arcane and obscure source. Good luck!

It’s probably not shocking, but step FOUR is the best part of the whole experience. Initially, we perched ourselves high atop the slopes of Golf Course Hill. Drawing stares and comments of disbelief, our first forays down the slopes were exhilarating in ways most high velocity and low common sense events trailblaze. But, it was not to be the final destination of the night. The proverbial bigger fish existed for us to similarly fry. We went to Horsetrack Hill.

If you’ve never been there or never even considered going there, you fall in a safe and mentally sound majority. The craggy slopes leading down into the horsetrack are sharply angled and abruptly end with a picket line of posts sealed with a barrier of transparent plastic walls. Needless to say, crashing departed from the realm of reasonable options. Unfortunately, we had been given a challenge by samfu‘s coworker Brain - a challenge we defeated.